The Power of Forgiveness
07/10/09 09:44
A wise man once wrote …
“Holding on to bitterness is like taking
poison yourself – and hoping that your enemy
will die from it.”
Anger, resentment, outrage, stubbornness and bitterness can sometimes be the only things you can cling to when you are trying to get you through a particularly tough time. But why do so many of us find it so hard to let go of it, when it has clearly stopped being of any use, and is holding us back?
Some people think forgiving people is 'letting them off'. But what if forgiveness is not something you do for your adversaries, but rather something you do for yourself, for you?
I have worked with people who were consumed with anger, and sometimes some of their responses were understandable in the circumstances. However, their responses prompted more and more angry behaviour which often got them into more difficulties. This was negatively affecting them and their family and friends around them. There was a self destructive pattern emerging.
Anger is a toxic emotion for the mind and body. It plays havoc with sensible thinking and can have a very powerful negative effect on your physiology. It’s been linked to skin conditions, IBS and other physical conditions. It’s an emotion alerting you to something not being right. Emotions are a call to action. Pay attention to them and do something, and then the emotion can dissipate naturally. Holding onto anger can create a build-up, and a shorter fuse which can be set off by the smallest things.
“Hanging onto resentment is like letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” - Ann Landers
Every time you forgive someone, you are wrapping up all your bitterness and handing it back to them. Want this bad feeling? There you go. I don’t need it anymore. Every minute you spend with bitterness inside you – you are handing more power over your life to the person who did you wrong. You are giving them the power over whether you have a good or a bad day (or life). How crazy is that?
Instead, you can ‘forgive’ in order to let go of all the baggage you would otherwise have to drag around with you. You forgive for you.
What if you could use the energy that you use on anger to drive you towards positive things instead? It takes a while to trust yourself enough to let go, but when you do… life can be full of joy… full of possibilities… full of choices. In many ways, resentment can be used as a crutch - but why walk on crutches when there is nothing wrong with your legs?
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” - Anon
What could you become, where could you go, if you directed that energy in the right place?
Life is all about choices: some are easy, some are difficult. We do not get to choose how we die, or when. We can only choose how we live right now.
What are you ready to let go of, in order to embrace the power of forgiveness?
Anger, resentment, outrage, stubbornness and bitterness can sometimes be the only things you can cling to when you are trying to get you through a particularly tough time. But why do so many of us find it so hard to let go of it, when it has clearly stopped being of any use, and is holding us back?
Some people think forgiving people is 'letting them off'. But what if forgiveness is not something you do for your adversaries, but rather something you do for yourself, for you?
I have worked with people who were consumed with anger, and sometimes some of their responses were understandable in the circumstances. However, their responses prompted more and more angry behaviour which often got them into more difficulties. This was negatively affecting them and their family and friends around them. There was a self destructive pattern emerging.
Anger is a toxic emotion for the mind and body. It plays havoc with sensible thinking and can have a very powerful negative effect on your physiology. It’s been linked to skin conditions, IBS and other physical conditions. It’s an emotion alerting you to something not being right. Emotions are a call to action. Pay attention to them and do something, and then the emotion can dissipate naturally. Holding onto anger can create a build-up, and a shorter fuse which can be set off by the smallest things.
“Hanging onto resentment is like letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.” - Ann Landers
Every time you forgive someone, you are wrapping up all your bitterness and handing it back to them. Want this bad feeling? There you go. I don’t need it anymore. Every minute you spend with bitterness inside you – you are handing more power over your life to the person who did you wrong. You are giving them the power over whether you have a good or a bad day (or life). How crazy is that?
Instead, you can ‘forgive’ in order to let go of all the baggage you would otherwise have to drag around with you. You forgive for you.
What if you could use the energy that you use on anger to drive you towards positive things instead? It takes a while to trust yourself enough to let go, but when you do… life can be full of joy… full of possibilities… full of choices. In many ways, resentment can be used as a crutch - but why walk on crutches when there is nothing wrong with your legs?
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” - Anon
What could you become, where could you go, if you directed that energy in the right place?
Life is all about choices: some are easy, some are difficult. We do not get to choose how we die, or when. We can only choose how we live right now.
What are you ready to let go of, in order to embrace the power of forgiveness?